Rushing the Convent
A vocation discernment blog
By Kirsten Obadal
August 17, 2014
In the old days, the era that lasted a thousand years until
the Vatican II council in 1968, a young woman just showed up at a convent,
knocked on the door, and after some very cursory questions was admitted. She had to be 18, and not to be an only child
so there would be a sibling out there to take care of her parents in their
golden years. It was all pretty simple.
As a nun or vowed religious sister a woman would be able to
undertake medicine, teaching, domestic work, or to further her education. For a very long time, if she remained a
laywoman, her options included working in the field, the home, and bearing and
raising children.
As time went on, especially in the 20th century,
women’s options began to broaden.
Religious life continued to liberate women from the obligations of the
role of child bearing to a variety of work if a woman was so inclined. But it still wasn’t really until the late 20th
century that women could viable choose to remain single and pursue a career,
and not until more recently that a woman could choose to both raise children,
be married, and work. So religious life
began to seem redundant. Vocations fell
off dramatically after Vatican II, and many sisters left the convent. but it is my contention that this had little
to do with changes in the Church and more to do with societal and cultural
changes in Western society. The concept
of remaining single was theretofore unknown and unaccepted; a woman might work
a bit before marriage, but after that her obligations were considered to be in
the home.
So what might be the attraction of religious life now, in
the early 21st century? For
most women seeking vows nowadays, the pull of community is strongest, as is the
blessing of a shared and common prayer life, and finally the freedom to pursue
worthwhile soul-filling ministries that might pay too little to sustain a
person as a career choice. Don’t be
confused by the fact that some nuns are highly paid in their jobs—nurses,
university professors, psychologists, etc.
They are clearly not in it for the money. They are in it for love.
In religious life a woman can pursue almost any career of
her choosing, and have the blessing of family even if she chooses not to marry.
In my case, all of the above. Although not marrying was not so much a
choice as a fate. After a certain age
the pickings are pretty slim and what has once been perceived as the freedom of
single life has become a drudgery of solitude and anxiety about loneliness in
old age. To be perfectly clear, I do have some gentlemen friends who would make
good husbands, and with a little indication of interest would do so; but there
is something inside me that says, “I am
not passionately in love with this particular guy, but I am passionately
in love with Jesus.” This is true for me
with the exception of one clueless guy, but I am trying to keep my personal
options open while he may or may not ever get a clue.
Meanwhile, I do know that I love, respect, and admire the
sisters I have met in visits to various convents. As I recently told a friend, “these women are
just better than I am.” They are more
sincere, closer to God in holiness, and more deeply committed in their work
than I am. They truly care for others
more. It is to this that I aspire,
whether or not I join the convent.
August 18, 2014
It is the process of becoming a nun that is possibly more
complicated than getting into college.
It begins with a short weekend visit, usually called a discernment
retreat, and then phone calls, emails, and perhaps a second visit, and more
skyping, calling, and emailing. There
are psychological tests you have to take to see if you can handle community living. Finally, the community just has to have a
feeling that you fit in. Essentially, it
is like rushing a sorority.
I should make it clear that there are many different kinds
of communities nowadays. Some are
cloistered, like the Poor Clares. They
wear a full length habit and do not leave the convent. Their main work is prayer, broken up by
chores, vegetable gardening, or studying.
These are called contemplative communities.
On the other extreme there are apostolic communities, which
do not wear a habit but rather a pendant or ring to show their
affiliation. The sisters in these
communities may have jobs in catholic or even secular organizations, but
usually maintain a ministry that in some way helps people to live lives of
greater dignity. Thus, education, health care, and various
types of social service are common apostolic ministries.
I am currently staying with the Franciscan sisters in
Tiffin, Ohio. Their prayer is
inspirational, and during the songs they break out into spontaneous, unscripted
harmonies.
August 19, 2014 Wednesday
This community cultivates a garden that is several acres in
size. I went out with Sr. Barb for a
tour. We fed overgrown cucumbers to the
chickens and ducks. The garden is
divided into three sections: some for the sister’s dining hall, some for the
food pantries for the poor, and the rest are rented plots which are planted and
harvested by shareholders who live in town.
There are snow peas, green beans, and tons of zucchini. Barb has a touch with the asparagus. There is also butternut squash, sunflowers,
and peppers, to name a few. A blight is
killing the tomato plants, but there are still a few ripening.
This evening there was a social. Among the games was Bible jeopardy. My team got creamed. We weren’t fast enough with the clappers to
signal we had the answer.
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